Tag Archive | weight loss

Mamavation Monday: What Are You Hiding From?

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I’ve gained and lost a lot of weight over the past six years. Usually, it’s the same 20 pounds. And my goal for this year is to lose those 20 pounds and not regain them. Yes, it’s a thrill to see the number on the scale going down. But it’s also kind of a bummer when you’ve seen that number twice or even three times before.

My daughter and me as I neared a size 8.

The last time I lost a great deal of weight, we were living in North Carolina. I was working out on a daily basis; in fact, the YMCA was one of my sole sources of childcare. So I would have my two hour workout while my daughter, who was two at the time, enjoyed play time with the other kids in the nursery.

The changes the workouts and eating plan wrought in my diet were astonishing; suddenly people who had seen me several times before ceased to recognize me. And I started fitting in to a single digit size for the first time in ages. It was heady and exhilirating and I felt fantastic.

Until one day.

I was grocery shopping without my daughter or husband–just a quick run to pick up a few things we needed. In the store, an older man lmost rammed his cart into mine. He joked about it and I was friendly enough in return, but then a few moments later, he did it again. I started to get a weird feeling. I didn’t like the way he was looking at me–it wasn’t even looking, it was leering.

He followed me to the checkout stand and then somehow, managed to follow me out into the parking lot. And as I put away my groceries, trying to hustle up the process, be bent over and really peered at my bum. Like, it was such an exaggerated movement that it belonged in a Keystone Kops movie.

As I jumped into my car and sped off, I glanced in my rearview mirror. He was *still* staring at me.

So. A few things went through my mind as I drove home:

First, I needed to start carrying mace.

Then, a sense of rueful awe at the power of the male ego. That this old man, who was dirty, somewhat toothless, and vastly unattractive would think that a young, fit lady was remotely interested in him or would want him looking at her really boggled my mind. Even when I was a slender little sprig of a think in my teen years, I knew there were standards of attractiveness beyond which I would never cross. Somehow, I think most men never got this message.

Then, a powerful feeling of deja vu so strong that I had to pull over into a parking lot for a moment to process it. This was why I got fat, I told myself over and over. I wanted to be invisible.

Now, I am not saying that this old man wouldn’t have leered at me, even if I had weighed three times what I did that day. But when I was fat, I felt protected. Sheltered from unwelcome advances. Cocooned in a way that kept me in a nice little invisible comfort zone. And when that comfort zone went away, I felt extremely vulnerable.

I’m not sure that the weight didn’t start to creep back after that moment, but of course, I went back up. I seem to have a comfort zone of a size 12-14 and when I hit that I feel too conspiciously fat, and so I start to drop down again.

I wish I knew how to conquer this fear of being seen, or of being too invisible. This, I think, is why my weight has yo-yoed so drastically over the years. I’d like to conquer the fear so I can vanquish the fat. Does anyone have insight on this they can share?

This post is sponsored by Touch Within Coaching and Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

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Mamavation Monday: Last Post as a Finalist

This week was my last week of hazing as a Mamavation Mom finalist. I’ve been following all the workouts since December 10, when I submitted my application video. So this has been over a month of working out almost every day–and some really intense stuff I’ve never tried. I never knew a burpee before I started boot camp, but now I do them every day.

This was also the week that I got sick. I went to the doctor with a headache that would not go away. I figured I had a sinus infection. Well–I did. AND I had the flu. Two shots, some antibiotic and Tamiflu later, and I am passed out on the couch at home. The next day I took Liv to the doctor because I wanted to make sure she didn’t test positive for the flu. She’d been complaining of a headache too.

Well, she didn’t test positive for the flu.

She tested positive for strep throat.

So we stayed home the entire week, passed out on our twin leather couches watching every Pixar movie that has ever been made. And yet–I still kept up with the hazing. This was the first time I’ve ever worked out while sick. I barely work out when I am well. I had to do burpees very slowly and I could only manage girly pushups but I didn’t give up–not once, in this last week of hazing.

I also had the support of my fellow finalists and other Sistas. Every few hours, I’d get a tweet of support and it gave me that boost to swim through the Tamiflu fog and try just one more set of “feet of fire.” Even if they were more like “feet of tiny sparklers” this was a real difference and a complete change from how I would have handled illness in the past.

I just want to say, I am so in awe of my fellow finalists. I cannot believe I am included with them–they do so much, while I am still just managing baby steps.

I am trying to be very Zen about tomorrow’s twitter party. I feel that, whether I am chosen or not, I still will be taking the active steps I need to keep me and my family fit and healthy with Mamavation’s support. So while it would be awesome to be chosen, I’m not going to quit if I’m not–if that makes sense.

OK, aside from being sick and exercising, one other big change took place this week–we tried raw dairy. There is a farm near Fort Worth that specializes in raw dairy and we gave it a try. I’ve never been big into drinking milk and neither does Liv, but my husband does and he loves it. Grocery store milk has always given me the willies and I think it tastes awful–the raw milk tastes more like I think milk *should* taste.

I’d post pictures, but honestly, I am so flippin’ tired and weak. Y’all just imagine dairy cows with pink sparkly glitter surrounding them, ‘K?

Mamavation Monday: Checking In

I am, by nature, a very goal-oriented person. I always have been. I remember one summer, I was in 6th grade headed into junior high, and the weeks stretched before me–empty weeks, with nothing to do. I was too young to get a job or to get a life of my own, but too old for my mother to find something to occupy my months at home. I needed to do something to fill the hot, sleepy Texas afternoons, so I did what any self-respecting teenage girl would do.

I copied entire entries out of my mom’s Rules of Court book. By hand.

Why?

Well, I needed to improve my handwriting, for one. And my mom was looking into law school, so I thought it might help her out. Why my handwritten copies of something she already had and didn’t use would be of any interest to her, I don’t know. But I needed to have a goal, and I needed to have tasks, and so I created one out of nothing.

As you might suspect, the New Year is a highly anticipated, do or die time of year for me. 365 days, all stretching before me. How will I fill them? What will my goals be?

I started early this year, by submitting my application on December 10  to the Mamavation Mom challenege. Since posting my app video, I have:

–Completed the #12daysoffitmas hazing

–Continued to do every single day of hazing, even when I thought it’d kill me

–Gotten to the point where I don’t think I will burp up while doing burpees

–Given up Diet Coke (have been DC-free for over a week and counting)

–Signed up for a half-share of Urban Acres organic produce every two weeks

–Cheered on other Mamavation applicants and gotten to know some really nice people

–Started walking my dog again (I can’t blame it on the weather any longer).

So my goal for 2013 was already set, my resolutions went right along with it–to work towards being a Mamavation Mom and if I’m not chosen, to keep right on going with working out and weight loss while relying on the Mamavation community for support.

The difference between now and years past is that I don’t have a feeling of “And when I lose the weight, I will…” as though healthy living is finite and can end when that magical goal weight is achieved. I have more of a feeling of permanent change, of knowing that this is long term, and that when 2014 rolls around, my goal will, for once, not center on my weight.

If you want to support me in this, please tweet the following message…and thank you!

Hey @bookieboo! I want @lilygeorge2 to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/aorv3Y

This post is sponsored by Schick Intuition and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

Mamavation Monday…Being Bad

OK, I have a confession to make. I’ve been being really, really bad when it comes to food. You don’t even want to know what our Christmas menu sounds like. I have been keeping up with the #12daysoffitmas challenges, and I think that’s what has kept me able to fit into my pants–albeit with sucking it in as I button them.

My plan is to drink a lot of water today and tomorrow, cut back on indulging in *everything* I see, and then get back on track for the 26th.

That’s all I’ve got for today–it’s a very short day, because we have a very long schedule of movie watching, game playing, and cookie baking for Santa. Don’t worry, Daddy will be eating those cookies. I have to draw the line somewhere!

If you are in the mood for a Christmas giveaway, stop by my writing blog, Lady Scribes. I am hosting author Rachelle McCalla today, and she is giving away a copy of her latest novel!

http://ladyscribes.blogspot.com/2012/12/an-interview-with-love-inspired-author.html

Mamavation Monday: I Wanna Go to Boot Camp

Hi everyone,

So I finally bit the bullet and decided to apply for Mamavation Boot Camp. You can hear about my struggles with my weight, my rock bottom moments, and the perils of “Writer’s Bum” in my application video. I should warn you that I’m not wearing makeup and I look about half past dead. Go easy on me; my husband had surgery on Friday and I have been taking care of him and my daughter non-stop for 3 days. 🙂

On the other hand, this is pretty much what I look like after finishing a book, in case you wondered.

If, even after seeing me without makeup, you want to show support for me in this endeavor, simply tweet the following message:

Hey @bookieboo! I want @lilygeorge2 to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/aorv3Y

I appreciate your support.

This past week, I made my goal of going to Curves 3 days out of the week. This week, my plan is to stick with Curves 3 days and try eating a healthy lunch. I always have time for breakfast, but never enough time for a decent lunch. The result: by 3:15pm I am scrunging in my ashtry for loose change and heading to the vending machine. By 5:00pm, I am ready to eat my own arm. So we’ll see if eating a proper lunch makes the difference.

 Here I go!

This post is sponsored by Doctor G and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway. 🙂

Mamavation Monday: How NOT to Lose Weight Over the Holiday

Thanksgiving was supposed to be so fun. We really had it planned out. For once, we had both money and time. Which meant we could travel and see family during the break.

On Wednesday, my husband and daughter were home, but I had to work. So they took the dogs to the kennel and drove into Fort Worth to meet me for lunch. Olivia got to pick…so of course, we went to McDonalds.

I really only like one thing at McD’s–a quarter pounder with cheese. I allow myself one per year. But since we were headed to a Thanksgiving feast, I decided to be good. I ordered a salad.

BIG mistake.

Around 3:30 that afternoon, I was sitting at my desk and began sweating profusely. Then my tummy felt weird. I texted my husband. “Are you guys OK? Because I think I have food poisoning.”

My husband texted back, “We r good. R U ok?”

By that point, I sent a message to my cubemate, who is a walking pharmacy. “Do you have anything for nausea?”

By 4:00, I was chomping on a Pepto-Bismol tablet. “This will either cure me or make me throw up,” I joked.

By 4:45, I was doubled over in my cube. My cubemate peeked over at me. “Go home,” she said.

“But we still have 15 minutes.”

“Go. Home. Now.”

I managed to make the 30 minute drive home without running into traffic–a novelty. I held a grocery bag in my lap as I drove, with all the windows rolled down and my stereo blaring. I made it home, but just barely–I sprinted into the bathroom and all heck broke loose.

A trip to CareNow, followed by a transfer to the Emergency Room at our hospital. One hip of Phenegran and an IV drip. Plus 3 days of nothing but Gatorade.

That is how I want to spend Thanskgiving–said no one ever.

I was miserable. My husband and daughter went to Cracker Barrel for turkey. Our dogs came home from the kennel early. And we didn’t get to see family.

I don’t recommend going this route to lose weight over the holidays. And I don’t recommend the salad at McDonald’s. From now on, it’s all cooked food or nothing when we have fast food.

 

This post is sponsored by Eco-Foil and hosted by Mamavation – a community dedicated to obesity prevention & weight loss for women and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway.

Mamavation Monday: Agave Syrup and the Subject of Consistency

Hi everyone! I hope you had a great weekend. I saw a recipe that I wanted to try, and this is how I spent my Saturday afternoon. The recipe is for Chocolate Pretzel & Cherry Popcorn Balls, and I saw it in the newspaper when I was having a break at work. What intrigued me about this recipe was the use of agave syrup instead of corn syrup. I’ve never seen a popcorn ball recipe that didn’t include corn syrup, and so I stopped making them years ago.

I went to Target and found all the recipe supplies there, except chocolate covered pretzels. I’m serious. Target had agave syrup and dried cherries, but no flippin’ chocolate pretzels. So I used regular pretzels and bittersweet chocolate chips.

My result:

Eat your heart out, Martha Stewart! LOL

The  next time I do these, I will chop everything up finer and dip my hands in the cold water between making each ball. I think they’ll stick together better that way. As it was, everything tasted awesome, but the presentation was lacking. Not a recipe fail, but a foodie lookie fail.

You might be able to tell that my husband made inroads already into the baking sheet. The thing about these popcorn balls is that you cannot OD on them. They are too rich. One or two is plenty. I really liked the taste of the agave syrup, too. Very subtle. I will definitely try this recipe again.

The recipe called for me to stir the peanut butter and agave syrup together for the right consistency. Evenness. Smoothness. It’s a concept that is sorely lacking in my life, particularly when it comes to weight loss. I’ll go at something 110% and then I binge on something else. I see the problem in all areas of my life. If my life were made of peanut butter and agave syrup, some parts would by chunky, some smooth, and some scorched. I need to turn down the burner, gently stir things with a wooden spoon, and let things simmer, don’t I?

Do you have any advice for keeping consistency in my life?